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"The trick is to learn to see with your heart and not with your eyes." ت
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I love you... But as what? :(
Thursday, February 11, 2010


Am I Confused? Puzzled? Perplexed? Mystified? Bewildered? Befuddled? Bemused?

Maybe yes!?
Maybe no!?

WAAA!!! I know I love you, but as what? :(


The first time you told me those three words, my heart is like in a race, beating so fast. I made a smile -- I know that it is not the usual smile, that it is a smile I always make when I'm in love.

Yes! I admit, I already like you before the night when you said that you love me. I also admit that it made me too confused about what you feel for me.

But it hurts me a lot when I knew that it is only for a little girl and told me that it won't change. I cried a lot, because it's my only way of letting out what I feel and I chose to be drunk two days after that painful day just to forget that sorrow/sadness/misery. [whatever it is.]

February one, 2010 - it is the day when I told you that I'm already fine and you have nothing to worry. But, I think I'm not. I just said those thing because I'm afraid that you'll make a distance between you and me. :((

Until now, we still treat each other as siblings. But, until when? We kept on saying those three words to each other... I'm happy to know that you still love me (even only as your little sister), but deep inside of me, it hurts me a lot. Because, it's hard for me to accept the fact that you'll just stay as my brother and we can't be more than siblings. :((

But, I still believe that no one can't tell what will happen next, that's why I kept on waiting for the day that you'll realize that you already love me but not as your sister anymore. :((
NOTE: I kept on waiting and not hoping.

writtern @6:17 AM